The Oreo Complex
You may have noticed that my blog is curiously empty of any posts about my gorgeous boyfriend. Well, that's because I've decided to keep all that stuff private, but in this case I'll make an exception because it doesn't really deal with anything personal at all.
If you didn't know, my bf is white. Some who just don't know any better have accused of me of only liking white guys and while this is most certainly NOT true, (I'm attracted to every color in the rainbow), I do tend to have a wee bit of sexual weakness for a little cream in my coffee, if U will.
Anyhoo, one day I was joking around and called my bf my "lil' vanilla wafer." And he, in turn, called me his "little Oreo cookie." He meant this endearingly, of course, but I had to inform him on exactly why it was a MAJOR insult for a black guy to be called an Oreo. He had no idea.
Fast forward a few days later and I'm sitting at this function clowning around with the guy (who is also black, by the way) who is directing me in Six Degrees of Separation. For the most part of the show, my character is pretending to be from a preppy boarding school in Switzerland, when in actualilty he's a con and a hustler straight off the streets. 4 those of U who know me, U know there is nothing "street" about me. So, my director leans over and says "it's so hard 4 U 2 act black, isn't it?"
And hereby we finally get to the point of this post. In answer to this ridiculous question if by "black" he meant "thug", the answer is yes. However, I'm an actor, it's my job to take on personas that are not my own and I have my ways of finding the characters that I need to portray and embodying them. But it really gets under my fucking skin that SO many people, black people included, equate being "black" to being "street". And if you aren't "street" then you're called an Oreo because you're trying to be "white"??
The obvious problems with all of these statements are clear, so I won't skirt the surface. What I want to know is this: why does our society, after all these strides we've made, generally equate white with being educated, having money, living in Suburbia, speaking English while they equate black with being uneducated, being on welfare, living in da hood listening to rap music and speaking Ebonics? This is almost as mind boggling as people believing Bush started a war with Iraq cuz he thought they had weapons of mass destruction. But I digress.
And it REALLY gets me to have people who are black say stupid shit like "Oh, he acts white" or "oh, he thinks he's white" because it only reinforces all of this negative crap we're supposed to believe about ourselves. I think black people in general have a major identity crisis . Think about it. We're brought over to this country in the most inhumane ways, forced to breed with each other, sometimes even incestually, our women were raped, half of us don't really even know where we come from, then after we were freed from slavery (by a man History reveres as being against slavery which isn't even true) we found ourselves in a society where we're still "enslaved" because we were never allowed an education in the first place and even when we got educated we lived in a country that, for the most part, hated us and thought of us and treated us like dogs. Even dogs were more than 3/5 human, right? So, for the most part, we have industrial jobs in the north and agricultural jobs in the south. It's all blue collar. There's no such thing as inheriting wealth, inheriting from who? Then we're forced to be segregated into our own communities and there was a certain culture that developed out of that. I mean, come on, we were poor. And living in a society where NOTHING is equal, especially not the opportunity, how are you supposed to break that cycle? This engenders a continuing problem. And then, FINALLY, the civil rights movement happened. We got the right to use bathrooms at gas stations. We got the right to sit on the bus anywhere we pleased. The black men who fought for this country finally got the the right to be treated with the same respect and dignity that the white soldiers had. Most importantly, we got the OPPORTUNITY to finally break the chain of events that had hampered our entire culture since we were first brought over here. Sure, everything was FAR from equal, but for the first time, there was a light at the end of the tunnel.
So, it really gets to me that after ALL so many of our predecessors went through in this country to ensure we had the kind of freedom we are enjoying today, that so many peoples' minds are still so closed and mentally constipated. For a black person to say to me "you're an oreo because you talk or act white" simply because I went to school, strive for excellence and DON'T have a "street" bone in my body is truly sad. And for a white person to say the same thing to me is truly racist. And it's happened both ways.
I own my blackness. I own where I come from just as much as I own where I'm going. I own my culture. And it is definitely a different "culture" than someone who is white, or latin, or anything else, and it has NOTHING to do with speaking ebonics or eating fried chicken or being a pimp. I also own my homosexuality. And while many black people can't and won't understand, that is as much a part of me as the color of my skin.
So, I don't know where I'm rambling to, I just wanted to make the statement that my bf should be able to call me an Oreo cookie because it's cute without it alluding to all of this ... nonsense.
"Come on talk 2 me so we can see what's goin' on." - Marvin Gaye, What's Goin' On
If you didn't know, my bf is white. Some who just don't know any better have accused of me of only liking white guys and while this is most certainly NOT true, (I'm attracted to every color in the rainbow), I do tend to have a wee bit of sexual weakness for a little cream in my coffee, if U will.
Anyhoo, one day I was joking around and called my bf my "lil' vanilla wafer." And he, in turn, called me his "little Oreo cookie." He meant this endearingly, of course, but I had to inform him on exactly why it was a MAJOR insult for a black guy to be called an Oreo. He had no idea.
Fast forward a few days later and I'm sitting at this function clowning around with the guy (who is also black, by the way) who is directing me in Six Degrees of Separation. For the most part of the show, my character is pretending to be from a preppy boarding school in Switzerland, when in actualilty he's a con and a hustler straight off the streets. 4 those of U who know me, U know there is nothing "street" about me. So, my director leans over and says "it's so hard 4 U 2 act black, isn't it?"
And hereby we finally get to the point of this post. In answer to this ridiculous question if by "black" he meant "thug", the answer is yes. However, I'm an actor, it's my job to take on personas that are not my own and I have my ways of finding the characters that I need to portray and embodying them. But it really gets under my fucking skin that SO many people, black people included, equate being "black" to being "street". And if you aren't "street" then you're called an Oreo because you're trying to be "white"??
The obvious problems with all of these statements are clear, so I won't skirt the surface. What I want to know is this: why does our society, after all these strides we've made, generally equate white with being educated, having money, living in Suburbia, speaking English while they equate black with being uneducated, being on welfare, living in da hood listening to rap music and speaking Ebonics? This is almost as mind boggling as people believing Bush started a war with Iraq cuz he thought they had weapons of mass destruction. But I digress.
And it REALLY gets me to have people who are black say stupid shit like "Oh, he acts white" or "oh, he thinks he's white" because it only reinforces all of this negative crap we're supposed to believe about ourselves. I think black people in general have a major identity crisis . Think about it. We're brought over to this country in the most inhumane ways, forced to breed with each other, sometimes even incestually, our women were raped, half of us don't really even know where we come from, then after we were freed from slavery (by a man History reveres as being against slavery which isn't even true) we found ourselves in a society where we're still "enslaved" because we were never allowed an education in the first place and even when we got educated we lived in a country that, for the most part, hated us and thought of us and treated us like dogs. Even dogs were more than 3/5 human, right? So, for the most part, we have industrial jobs in the north and agricultural jobs in the south. It's all blue collar. There's no such thing as inheriting wealth, inheriting from who? Then we're forced to be segregated into our own communities and there was a certain culture that developed out of that. I mean, come on, we were poor. And living in a society where NOTHING is equal, especially not the opportunity, how are you supposed to break that cycle? This engenders a continuing problem. And then, FINALLY, the civil rights movement happened. We got the right to use bathrooms at gas stations. We got the right to sit on the bus anywhere we pleased. The black men who fought for this country finally got the the right to be treated with the same respect and dignity that the white soldiers had. Most importantly, we got the OPPORTUNITY to finally break the chain of events that had hampered our entire culture since we were first brought over here. Sure, everything was FAR from equal, but for the first time, there was a light at the end of the tunnel.
So, it really gets to me that after ALL so many of our predecessors went through in this country to ensure we had the kind of freedom we are enjoying today, that so many peoples' minds are still so closed and mentally constipated. For a black person to say to me "you're an oreo because you talk or act white" simply because I went to school, strive for excellence and DON'T have a "street" bone in my body is truly sad. And for a white person to say the same thing to me is truly racist. And it's happened both ways.
I own my blackness. I own where I come from just as much as I own where I'm going. I own my culture. And it is definitely a different "culture" than someone who is white, or latin, or anything else, and it has NOTHING to do with speaking ebonics or eating fried chicken or being a pimp. I also own my homosexuality. And while many black people can't and won't understand, that is as much a part of me as the color of my skin.
So, I don't know where I'm rambling to, I just wanted to make the statement that my bf should be able to call me an Oreo cookie because it's cute without it alluding to all of this ... nonsense.
"Come on talk 2 me so we can see what's goin' on." - Marvin Gaye, What's Goin' On
posted by Saturn at
1:12 PM
2 Comments:
Awwwww shit now, you done got daddies pressure all up. I TOTALLY and whole heartedly feel you on "all dis!" We are living such similar lives or maybe we just happen to share such similar experineces. I too suffer from a bad case of loving me some "cream" in my coffee/snow on my mountain as well as some spanish rice with every meal (if I could). And I don't apologize for that anymore. I loves me some brothas too, but I connect with most of them in a "family oriented" way. That's just what is. Again, I didn't choose to feel that way but a lotta brothas ain't tryin'a hear that, but oh well that's on them.
As for the rest of your email, you've ranted and raved for the both of us so i'll just second your motion and that way keeping it short and sweet. Why can't we ever seem to get passed this bullshit? Why can't a brotha be draped in baggy jeans, diesel white tee, baseball hat down low, in some tim's and he actually has some edumacation and a conversation along with it all? Why is the thug so harmoniously glorified and the "it" thing for a brotha to strive to become before he's loved, respected, acknowledge, desired, craved, need I go on? And what is acting black or white? We all adapt to our surroundings in one way or another but over all "i am still me" at all times? I don't walk into my day job talkin' about, "wuzzup?" or "girrrrl, that bitch done said..." I speak and carry myself in a professional manner and depending on where I am and what i'm doing, I carry myself in the appropriate manner that's called for at the time.
Ohhh...lemme stop cuz I can go on. I totally feel you on this, boo.
Love,
T.
The answer to your rant is simple. Look at the news, any time something happens and they 'go to the streets' it's usually the most ignorant black person they can find to get a comment from. Remember Bubb Rubb and Lil Sis? If you don't just check here and watch http://www.ebaumsworld.com/bubbrubb.html
This is how the average white person thinks most black people act. How else do you expect the rest of the world to view you if this is what they're inundated with?
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